What do you think of when you hear the word dream?

Take a minute and write down all the things you associate with dreams. Don’t over analyze, just jot down the words and phrases that come to mind on a piece of paper or in a notebook.

Our brains are incredibly powerful, and even in these few moments, you probably had more than one association with the idea of dreams.

You might have thought of things like: Sleep, nap, bed, night, bad dream, or nightmare.

Our brains are incredibly powerful, and even in these few moments, you probably had more than one association with the idea of dreams.

These are obvious ties to physically dreaming when you sleep.

But some of you might also have thought about things like: Goals, challenges, too hard, big dreams, success, roadblocks, support (or lack of support). Maybe even impossible.

Not all dreams are physical, so it makes sense that you might have thought about intangible career or life dreams, too.

Take another look at your words - are your associations positive? Negative? A mixture of both?

It’s pretty normal to have a mixed bag of feelings. After all, the human experience is diverse! None of us have exactly the same situations or outlook on life, even when we are similar to others. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some extraordinarily good experiences, but I’ve also had gut-wrenchingly bad experiences. That’s the balance of life.

If your words are mostly positive, that’s great! I’d love to hear about your journey because that’s pretty dang cool.

If your words about dreams are mostly negative, though, or have a solid mix of negative, let’s talk about it.

First of All, What Do You Mean When You Say Dream?

Although I love talking about sleep dreams, the kind of dream I am talking about right now is the intangible kind. The kind the dictionary defines as “something that you want to happen very much but that is not very likely.”

Um, yikes!

It’s no wonder some of us have a mixed or primarily negative word association if we’re saying these things are not very likely to happen!

It’s no wonder some of us have a mixed or primarily negative word association if we’re saying these things are not very likely to happen!

Nonetheless, we prevail, right?

We dream about things like having a career we enjoy, a happy partnership with someone who loves us very much and who we love equally in return. Maybe a family and a house. Maybe to travel the world on our own dime not having to worry about money all the dang time!

These are the kinds of dreams I’m talking about today. The ones we always talk about like, “Oh, that’d be nice, but it’ll never happen.”

What Makes a Dream Big?

Some of our dreams are “normal” things like wanting to have a job that actually pays the bills - pretty reasonable, right? Or being able to move out of your parent’s house when you get a full time job.

But some of our dreams, whether or not we share them with anyone, are BIG dreams. These are the kinds of things we want but are less sure we can achieve. Maybe we want to own a big house with lots of land. Or own a brand new BMW. Maybe we want to start a business, or travel the world!

The main difference between a dream and a BIG dream is how feasible you believe it is and whether you’re willing to take the actions necessary to get to it.

Big dreams aren’t easy. They’re not things we should reasonably be able to achieve if we just meander through life watching the world around us. Big dreams require work, and lots of it. They require creative and out-of-the box thinking. You have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone to get them, which is what stops a lot of people from dreaming big!

Most of us have a pretty small (or moderate) comfort zone where we can get sucked into lazing around hoping but not acting on our ambition. I’ve been there! That space has plenty of room for naps, an unlimited supply of cute yoga pants, and a fully stocked fridge for all the snacking I don’t need to do.

The hard part of big dreams is that we can’t stay within our comfort zone to achieve them. We have to be brave and make some bold moves. These are the kinds of big dreams I mean. Some people might even say “wildest dreams.”

What are your wildest dreams? What are the dreams you feel deep down you would LOVE to happen? That scare the living daylights out of you?

What are your wildest dreams? What are the dreams you feel deep down you would LOVE to happen? That scare the living daylights out of you?

Write them down underneath your dream associations right now.

Don’t pay any attention to what you think a dream is, or whether or not you think you could get to the dream. Don’t worry about whether anyone else in your life knows (you don’t have to share - these are your dreams!). Just focus on you.

What would make your life completely and utterly awesome if it happened?

Why Should I Dream Big?

I can’t see your dreams, but I know they are big! How does it feel seeing them on the paper like that?

Exhilarating? Scary? Good! If your big dreams don’t scare you at least little, they’re not big enough!

So now that you have taken the time to write these dreams into existence (you didn’t even notice you were making progress here, did you?), what the heck do you do with it?

Why did I ask you to go through all that exercise?

There are 3 reasons we all need to dream big:

Personal Growth & Fulfillment

Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Probably not, right? And that’s a good thing! I’m a way better person now than I was back then, and I’m eternally grateful that I’ve grown so much.

As we age, we learn and become better versions of ourselves, at least most of us do. Having big dreams allows us to work toward a goal. Presumably our goals are positive - we want to do something incredible, make a difference, travel, and/or whatever else enables us to grow and become better.

Dreams help us take steps and make decisions based on the fact that we want to achieve them.

These dreams help us take steps and make decisions based on the fact that we want to achieve them, even if they seem unrealistic or no one else believes we will get there. They help us find fulfilling ways to grow and learn new things, even with small steps.

For instance, one of my big dreams has always been to be a writer. It’s a long story (if you’re interested, you can find it here). About a year ago, I did 2 things: started my novel and started this blog. It didn’t happen overnight, but I have become a writer. I’ve added to my dream, now, but it was scary as heck to publicly call myself a writer for the first time! I bet you can imagine how satisfying it was to actually believe myself when I said it, though..

This is what big dreams do - they give us a way to grow and be fulfilled.

Keep Things Interesting

Aside from being fulfilling and helping us grow, big dreams help keep things interesting in our lives!

Can you imagine living a whole life not having any kind of big dreams to aspire to? We’ve been in quarantine for a few months now, and personally I can’t imagine living the same daily humdrum as when it all started. Not having a reason to get excited every day or make progress would be awfully boring, I think.

Each day does matter, and we learn something new every single day, even when we don’t notice.

This isn’t to say that routines aren’t helpful, or that sometimes we won’t have boring or unfulfilled days. Routines are an absolute treasure for productivity, and sometimes a boring day is much needed.

When you are working toward your big dreams, not all days will be equal, or even feel like they matter. The good news is each day does matter, and we learn something new every single day, even when we don’t notice. It’s nice to add a variety to our lives, though. Some days are huge for us - our dreams get closer and we can say things like, “Wow! That’s a real possibility!”

We wouldn’t have these kinds of inspirational days without the dreams.

Live Fully - Don’t Just Survive

The last, and probably the most important, reason we need to dream big is that it allows us to really live. Dreaming is about imagining, working hard, conquering, and enjoying. We would miss some of the best parts of life if we didn’t have big dreams to work toward.

There are some points of our lives where it’s important to survive. Some days it’s all we can do to get through the day so it will just. freaking. end. I get it! I’ve been there! (Probably more recently than you would think, too.)

Without these big dreams to push us forward, it would be pretty easy to get stuck in the survive each day mindset.

Without these big dreams to push us forward, it would be pretty easy to get stuck in the survive each day mindset. Think about going to a job you hate every day for the rest of your life. Being in a relationship with someone that just doesn’t work and never trying to change it. Living in a studio apartment that doesn’t allow the furry friend you’ve been longing for, but not doing anything to move up and out!

I don’t know about you, but none of these things sounds great. They all sound like the confines of our comfort zone, even when it’s not what we want or are happy with.

How Do I Achieve a Big Dream?

So you have these dreams, and they’re pretty awesome. Maybe stuff that you can’t even envision (yet) in real life!

Another one of my big dreams is to interview J.K. Rowling about her writing. How will I do that? Completely unknown at this point! But it’s on my writing bucket list because why not? It would be un-freaking-believable - the stuff of my wildest dreams.

I won’t say it’s easy to get to your big dreams, because then they wouldn’t really be big. But, it’s not an overly complicated process if you look at it on a global scale.

Take some time and follow these steps on the same paper or notebook you used for your notes.Do these steps for ONE of your big dreams only. If you try to map them all out at once you will overwhelm yourself.

Step 1: Plan it Out

You have the dream in front of you, so work backwards to figure out what steps you need to take to achieve it. Start by brainstorming the big steps, and then for each big step, list out the smaller steps it takes to complete them. Think about each big step as a goal, and each small step as a mini-goal. Put your plan somewhere you can see it every day.

Step 2: Take Small Steps

Once you have your plan, figure out how to reach your first goal. Use your small steps as mini-goals to stay encouraged. You could even give yourself small rewards for reaching the mini-goals. The old adage “Rome wasn’t built in a day” holds true for most big things. It won’t happen overnight, but keep taking those small steps and achieving those mini-goals.

Step 3: Work on it Daily

The hardest part about any dream, really, is the work that goes into it. Sometimes even the best laid plans need to be adjusted to account for things we didn’t know we needed to do to get to our goals! You don’t know what you don’t know. (These cliches are really something when used as a group, aren’t they? It’s almost like someone really wise said them first...)

I know that you will find a way through as long as you consistently show up and work toward the end goal every day. It doesn’t have to be major progress each and every day, but the small things do add up in the end.

You can do this 3 step process as many times as you want for as many dreams as you have. It’s beautiful and replicable.

You can do this 3 step process as many times as you want for as many dreams as you have. It’s beautiful and replicable.

What Do I Do When I Fail?

Friends, you have incredible dreams, and now you have a plan for how to get to one of them. You’ve figured out what steps you need to take to get there, and you’ve committed to working on them every day.

Holy cow!

You’re making a great decision, and you’re one step closer to getting to your big dreams. You can’t see, but I’m giving you a thumbs up because this stuff is hard work. It’s scary. And you’re doing it anyway, which is commendable.

With this new plan, however, there will be days that just don’t go according to plan. There will be moments when you wonder if you can keep going, whether this whole big dream thing is really worth it. Days when you just flat out fail. It happens to everyone.

On these days:

First, Take a Breath

Failures and mistakes are a part of life. They happen. And sometimes there’s not one darn thing you can do to stop them or fix them. In the moment, take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

It’s not the end of the world (even if it feels like it). Most importantly, DO NOT make snap decisions or do anything reactive that you will regret later. Breathe until you feel at least a modicum of calmness.

Examine the Experience

Once you are in a calmer state of mind, examine what happened. Look at all the aspects and events and do your best to leave out emotions. For many of us this will be hard because our dreams are so close to our hearts, but we can’t fix the problem or do anything about it until we’ve figured out what went wrong.

Get Back Up & Try Again

When you have rationally examined the situation, get back up and try your small step again. Keep in mind what went wrong, but don’t let that stop you from getting to that big dream. Keep getting back up and trying again. You’ve got this!

What Do I Do When I Succeed But Others Just Don’t Get It?

I love talking about dreams because they are exciting! They are passionate, and play such an incredible role in our lives.

Not everyone does like talking about dreams, though. And not everyone is working on their big dreams like you are. It’s great when you have a wide support network to check in on your progress, but the reality is that not everyone has that. Even people who do have a good support network might not always get the response they thought they would.

There will be times when a person or people around you see your success and don’t react positively. It can happen any number of ways: criticism, outright disbelief, undermining further progress, etc. It hurts. It’s hard. It’s discouraging.

These reactions have much less to do with you than with the person expressing them.

When this happens, know that these reactions have much less to do with you than with the person expressing them. You can’t be sure of the cause (unless you ask - that choice is up to you), and you won’t know if they will change their mind. It’s not your job to convince others that your big dream is worth pursuing.

Read that one more time.

It’s not your job to convince others that your big dream is worth pursuing.

Once the sting wears off (and it will):

Do it Anyway

First and foremost, these dreams are yours. Keep going. If you’re someone who is fueled by a challenge, this might actually spark a bigger fire in you to prove them wrong. If you’re typically sensitive to others (hey there, me too!) this will be harder. You will probably feel some combination of guilt and doubt. Keep going. DO IT.. Work toward that big dream anyway!

Find Other Support

You don’t have to reach out to other people right away, but you should find some kind of support for yourself. Surround yourself with people with similar goals and big dreams of their own. These people are out there, and they’ll understand what you’re going through. All you have to do is find them.

Keep Dreaming Big

No matter what happens, no matter what people tell you or what events transpire, keep dreaming big dreams. You are worth it! You are worth the effort it takes to make big dreams come true, and you’ll never make a better investment than yourself. Take a deep breath, take the next step that scares you, and keep dreaming those dreams. You can be an unstoppable dream-getter if you set your mind to it!

What are your big dreams? How are you working on them? Are you struggling? Drop a comment below, find me on social media, or email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com! I’d love to chat

Dream Big & Don't Apologize for It