You're a writer, right? Or you want to be. But you’re not sure if you can. Or if you’re good enough at words to really make it.

Maybe you’ve been told you’re not “writer material.” Or maybe you’ve never quite gotten up the bravery to share your words with others.

Does this sound familiar?

Hi there! This was me. For A LONG time.

Why?

Fear, mostly. That still sounds bizarre to me sometimes because in general, I don’t consider myself a timid person. Like at all. But dang it if I wasn’t making excuses about my writing that all led to the same thing: I was afraid to do it because I was afraid to fail. To be wrong. To be “bad.”

Fear of failure is definitely problematic. But it’s also something we can work on.

Even if you haven’t had doubts about your journey to be a writer (which is seriously awesome, and I’d love to pick your brain about how that happened), chances are you’ve probably had some experience with fear of failure that’s stopped you from doing something you wanted to do.

Here’s the thing, fear of failure is definitely problematic. But it’s also something we can work on.

Negative Thoughts Writers Tell Themselves About Writing

As a writer, brand new or experienced, you’ve heard at least one of these thoughts. Probably more - they’re super common.

I’m just not that good at writing./I suck at this.

Writing is hard, I probably won’t ever finish writing a book.

People won’t like my writing even though I worked so hard. I’ll be too upset.

I’m boring, who cares about what I have to say?

I’m a failure, who would want to read my writing?

Of course, there are so many variations of these ideas that yours might sound a little different (there’s a laundry list for most of us).

WHOA.

Is it any wonder we worry so much about writing when this is our narrative?

Where do negative thoughts about writing come from?

Where Did These Negative Thoughts Come From?

If we have all of these wildly negative thoughts swimming around in our brain (most of which are completely untrue, by the way), where the heck did they come from? How did they get there? And why in the world do they play such a big role in our current writing realities?!

School/Education

For many of us, school is the first place we learn to write. We’ve probably all seen some version of our paper covered in red ink - there’s even an ongoing red ink debate about it! It used to be the common belief that all of this “correction” would help students learn to write the “right” way. As it turns out, all it really does is frustrate and intimidate students.

We internalize early on that needing a lot of changes means we didn’t do well.

We internalize early on that needing a lot of changes means we didn’t do well. We feel it’s a sign of “bad writing” when we have to make changes to something we already worked so hard on. In this context it makes sense we would be afraid to send our adult writing to readers if we feel like we’re going to get that dreaded feeling of having to change everything we just poured a little of our souls into.

Students also regularly tell me about flippant comments on their writing that just tank their writing confidence. I’m talking about the comments that say things like “This is bad,” or “You’re not a good writer,” or even more vague “Not impressed.” Having been on both sides of the table with writing (the student and the teacher), I don’t think that many teachers realize how damaging this commentary actually is. It’s not meant to be outright hurtful (at least I would hope not), but it definitely is.

Bad Experiences

Without question, the thing I hear most is that someone, at some point, gave the writer bad feedback (or said something mean that had nothing to do with the actual writing) and that bad experience soured the individual’s whole feeling about writing.

I’ll be the first to admit that this happened to me. And I let it.

Working with students and other more established writers, I have been absolutely stunned by the sheer number of incidents people have told me about. Some of them are more mild, like mine, but some of them are just gruesome and I wonder at the strength of the writer who has pushed through and been successful despite those experiences.

Media Portrayal of Writers & Writing

If you’ve seen any movies or shows about writers, there are several ambiguous stereotypes that almost always appear. Sometimes the overarching plot is about a spectacular failure and then the writer rising from the dust to be wildly successful.

Writers can be successful and support themselves just fine as long as they learn the skills they need and are willing to work hard like everyone else.

Probably the most damaging stereotype (which is the most common) is of the starving artist writer who refuses to get a more lucrative job and is seemingly okay with being broke living in a gross apartment over a mildly successful restaurant as long as they get to write. The best (worst?) part about this is that they are great writers, but no one notices.

Eye roll.

Writers can be successful and support themselves just fine as long as they learn the skills they need and are willing to work hard like everyone else. If the movies are the only way you’ve seen writers’ lives, though, you probably have a hard time not worrying that this will happen to you if you want to be a writer.

The fear of being stuck not being able to support yourself is real and valid. But it shouldn’t be more scary being a writer.

The fear of being stuck not being able to support yourself is real and valid. But it shouldn’t be more scary being a writer. In general it can be scary being an adult who wants to feed themselves and live in a place that doesn’t suck.

Incorrect Impressions of Success & Failure

I’ve talked about this before because it’s important. We have kind of a messed up view of both what it means to be successful and what it means to fail.

If we’re going by the film scenarios, we feel like success is the first scene: a spectacular fail followed by a magnificent and unprecedented win. Usually that win is fame or a lot of money. On the other hand, we feel like failures if there’s any chance of us being the writer in that restaurant apartment, even if it means we work a “regular” job and save money for something better.

The first problem is that these are extremes. Like anything else in life, there’s more than one way to be successful. It’s not always about the money and the fame. Sometimes (a lot of the time, actually) it’s about the smaller milestones.

The other problem is that people can’t be “failures” because a failure is an event. Just because you don’t reach your goal doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you failed to reach your goal and you probably need to reset your expectations or readjust your actions and try again. That one event does not define you as a person (unless you let it).

3 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

It seems like a lot is working against us, doesn’t it? It doesn’t really help us knowing why we have fear of failure if we don’t knowwhat to do about it.

The best thing about being a creative human is that you are able to flex and adapt when you need to! The fix you need right now is to work on your fear of failure and keep writing.

This is what you need:

1. Reset Your Expectations of Failure & Success

We talked a bit before about failure and success, so I won’t belabor this point too much. Remind yourself of 3 things when you are feeling afraid:

Failure is an Event, Not a Person
Small Progress is Progress
Hard Work Wins in the End

Writing is a skill, not a talent, so when you work hard and keep pushing past small failures, you will improve. It’s not an if, it’s a when. What’s holding you back here is the concept that failing is the be all and end all.

Hard truth? We all fail. You will too, but that is OKAY. Keep working on it, think about what it would mean for you to be successful, and you will be just fine.

2. Do it Anyway!

I’m a big fan of doing things that scare you. You can read about it here, if you want more details on how to do that - it’s easily one of my top 3 favorite things to write and talk about.

As you take a leap of faith and write through your fear of failure, keep in mind that practice makes perfect. The more you write, the better you will get. Don’t get stuck in the trap where you think you have learned all there is to learn - I can assure you that you haven’t. No one has! And that’s one of the beautiful things about creating with words. It’s ever-evolving and we get to keep learning along the way.

Don’t let daunting tasks dissuade you from writing.

When you are feeling afraid, take the time to acknowledge that your feelings are there and that they’re valid. Writing is hard! Creating things that have never existed before is daunting! You are allowed to feel afraid.

That being said, don’t let daunting tasks dissuade you from writing. Accept that we are scared of some things, that’s fine, and then USE that to fire yourself up and get excited. We grow when we do things that make us uncomfortable, and writing is an excellent opportunity to be uncomfortable without having to share that with the world. You’re not obligated to share anything you write if and until you are ready. Keep that in mind and dive right into that doubt.

3. Be Willing to Be Vulnerable

This may (or may not) be surprising, but when we put our words on paper and share with others, we are showing vulnerability. And that’s a GOOD and NECESSARY thing to do.

I won’t lie to you, this stuff is SCARY - probably the most intimidating thing you will do as a writer is throw yourself at a reader’s mercy wondering what they’re going to say about the work you poured over for so long. But, if you’re going to be a strong writer, you need to be able to put yourself and your work out there.

If you’re going to be a strong writer, you need to be able to put yourself and your work out there.

Get criticism, hopefully of the constructive nature (don’t choose your first readers willy nilly) and use those comments to make your writing better. In the end, we’re all just trying to be the best creators we can be, right?

Writing is, in one way, both one of the hardest and easiest things we do. It seems natural for many of us to dump words on the page - emotions, dialogue, scenes, you name it and we probably write it. But, what people rarely tell you is that sometimes these thoughts and imagined ideas are hard to deal with. And even harder to share.

If you let it, fear of failure will run your life. Not just in writing, but in all areas. It just so happens that writing is a means of meaningful expression for writers, and so when we get stuck in the comfort zone we don’t get to do what we’re passionate about. We stop writing and try to convince ourselves that we don’t need it, or that we don’t really want to do it (even when it’s obvious it’s all we want to do).

If you let it, fear of failure will run your life.

To face your fear of failure, reset your expectations of success & failure, do it the heck anyway, and be willing to be vulnerable with people who can help you be better.

My challenge to you is to start with Do It Anyway and work from there.

Did you try the strategies? Or do you have some of your own strategies you’ve used to face fear of failure that grips writers everywhere? I’d love to hear about them! Find me on social media, drop a comment below, or email me at rachel@captuingyourconfidence.com!

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.

3 Ways to Conquer Fear of Failure