Interview with an Author: Margarita Meyendorff

Our October guest is Margarita Meyendorff.

The daughter of a Russian Baron, Margarita Meyendorff (Mourka) was born displaced, far from the opulence of Imperial Russia that was her birthright. A series of wars destroyed this privileged existence, and Margarita’s life became a series of extraordinary moves. Her childhood ran like a roller coaster of highs as a performer and lows in her personal life. Her journey is thrillingly personal, yet universal - the journey we all take to find our true selves and safe haven. Margarita Meyendorff is always, even in the most frightening situations, a spirited traveler - and a survivor.

If you would like to purchase Margarita’s book, DP: Displaced Person, you can find a copy here.

Tell us a little about your writing journey. Have you always wanted to be a writer? 

I never dreamed that I would write a book someday.  My artistic endeavors were mostly in the performing arts – theatre, music.  I enjoyed writing and wrote journals when I was traveling but I never considered myself a writer.

Was there a certain point you remember where you felt empowered to call yourself a writer? Or have you always felt like you were a writer?

My writing journey began in the early 1990’s when I hired a friend who was an actress and a writer to co-write a one-woman play based on my life entitled “Mourka.”  I wrote the story and she stylized it into a play.  The play ended up going to off-Broadway theatres in New York.  Sigrid, my friend, directed it and I did the acting – memorizing 24 pages of script.

I didn’t realize it at that time, but “Mourka” was the beginning of my memoir.  Later, another actress friend started a theatre company called TMI (Too Much Information) where we wrote 10-minute pieces and performed them.  It was then that I realized I was writing chapters for a book.  I only felt empowered to call myself a writer when I finished DP.

Your book, DP: Displaced Person, is a memoir, and shares a lot of interesting, but intimate details. What was it like writing so openly about your life?

Through TMI, I realized that by telling/writing/performing the most intimate, often scary moments of my life, I was empowering other people to do the same – to face their fears and demons and start owning their feelings through the writing process. By accepting and witnessing our deepest fears, we eventually let go of them and can heal emotionally. 

I realized that by telling/writing/performing the most intimate, often scary moments of my life, I was empowering other people to do the same – to face their fears and demons and start owning their feelings through the writing process.

Writing intimate details in DP enabled me to clearly see my life – the “why’s” and the “therefores” and make sense of why I did what I did.  Writing DP helped heal me from depression and a great deal of anxiety.  I might add that I was in therapy while I was writing the book to help me look back and relive the darkest moments of my life.  I also had full support from my wonderful husband who has read everything I have ever written.

Your voice in the book is so powerful, but you do share stories that some people might find shocking. What was the reaction from your family and friends, especially considering that you come from a religious family?

I was extremely surprised at the incredible positive support I received from my Russian religious relatives in Nyack, NY where I grew up.  I was concerned that I would get a backlash of negativity and anger but instead I received a great deal of compassion from them. 

I’m not sure about the Lutheran relatives in Fort Wayne and in Wyoming.  Outwardly, everyone was nice to me and understanding, but I never felt that I received their true feelings.  My brother George thinks that the Lutheran “relies” put me up as an example of what happens to people when they don’t have a tight family or strong faith in religion.  If that is the case, then they did not follow the thread of healing through writing as a viable option.

I understand you’re working on a collection of short stories. That’s exciting! Could you tell us a little about it? 

I am very excited about “Flipping the Bird,” my new book.  Although it is not a memoir, it is still a collection of short stories based on my life and rooted in rebellion, survival, and fight against injustice.

Describe your writing and/or creative process.

I feel fortunate never to have experienced a writer’s block.  When I begin to write, I am certain of what I want to say.  The creative part is choosing how to put your thoughts down on paper.  I just let it rip and write.  I re-read sentences and paragraphs over and over until the writing feels right. If I get stuck on a word or a thought, I just write down what comes to mind and as I re-read, usually the thought finally gets articulated. 

I believe that if an idea is too difficult to articulate, it may not need to be there at all.

If a passage is particularly difficult, I throw it out.  I believe that if an idea is too difficult to articulate, it may not need to be there at all. I don’t struggle with it.  It’s counterproductive. I must add at this point, that I have an excellent editor who I trust.  I feel that a good editor is invaluable to a writer; that it is necessary for writers to have editors in the same way that plays have directors. 

There must be an objective eye on any artistic venture.  Not that I always agree with the editor, but for the most part, a good editor will enhance good writing. 

What was the research process like for your book? You were able to pull from your memories, of course, and some documents in the surviving family suitcase, but you give a lot of very interesting details from before you were born. Tell us a little more about how you were able to paint such a broad picture that serves as the background for your own story.

My brother George was an incredible source of information about the family’s history before I was born.  Of course, I knew a great deal from my parents as well.  I connected with childhood friends via email and asked questions like, “did this really happen?”

I connected with relatives all over the world. I used the internet for historical and general information.  I did a great deal of research on places and people and would not leave a stone unturned for fear of misinformation.

What was your biggest writing obstacle and how you did you overcome it?

My biggest writing obstacle was how to deal with my children (now grown) with the honesty and the integrity with which I was writing.  We had a therapy session together with my therapist one day when I read to them passages of the book that was particularly difficult for them to hear.  One of the most beautiful ramifications of my writing DP is that my children and I have become closer since my writing; we love and understand each other better and our relationship is invaluable to me.

What is the part of your published work or writing process you are most proud of?

I am very proud of writing DP Displaced Person.  For me, it was an incredible achievement with immense positive ramifications for my mind and spirit.  I understand now the healing power of writing.  I have learned how to be a better writer by working closely with my editor.  I am blessed with a creative mind and I thank my parents for bringing me up and surrounding me with art and culture.

What motivates you to keep writing?

Interesting and fun ideas motivate me to write.  I love the writing process – putting thoughts on paper into a cohesive manuscript that people might find interesting and valuable. For example, my third writing project will be entitled, “Gypsy Travel Guide for Senior Citizens.”  This project will allow me to pull together all my journals about my husband and I’s travel experiences with our VW Westfalia camper van, not only in the United States but in Europe as well. 

My advice to aspiring writers is to write about what inspires them; to write about what they find interesting and fun in this world.

The book will include recipes on how to cook gourmet meals on an open campfire, information on how to survive day to day road travel, information on places to camp and places to visit in the United States and Europe.  Because I enjoy the freedom of being on the road, I will enjoy writing about it.

What is the biggest piece of advice you would give to aspiring writers?

My advice to aspiring writers is to write about what inspires them; to write about what they find interesting and fun in this world.  If it is non-fiction – to be honest.  If it is fiction, then enjoy the freedom of the ride.

If you would like to purchase Margarita Meyendorff's book, DP: Displaced Person, you can find a copy here.

If you know an author (or of an author) you would love to read an interview with, email me at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com or submit a suggestion through the contact page!