Why We’re All a Little Scared of Success (But Need to Act Anyway)

We’ve all felt the fear of failure at some point. It can hang over any task no matter how small or seemingly mundane. 

But, have you ever been afraid of what might happen if you succeed? It raises bigger questions like: What would I do if I got the promotion? What would I do if I wasn’t drowning in debt? How would I feel if my book did get published?

If you’ve thought about these things (or something like them), you’re not alone. It’s okay to worry about what might come with success, or the burdens that would bring. It’s okay to want to be successful, but also be scared of success. That doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t still succeed.

Why Success is Scary as Hell

No matter what you’re doing, new things can be scary. No matter how many times you’ve succeeded in other areas of your life, each success brings about tasks and feelings you’ve never encountered before. Let’s be honest, newness and change aren’t always exciting, even when we desperately want them to be. 

And even when changes bring great new things into your life, there’s still the fear of the unknown. You don't necessarily know how success will look until you get there. It could look like opportunities beyond your wildest dreams. But it could also look like hardships and stress you don’t yet know how to handle. Sometimes it’s the not knowing that’s the scary part. 

Success also creates a new normal. You’ll probably see and feel a lot of changes as you grow (we sometimes lovingly call these growing pains). The reality is that your life will be different. That’s the goal, though, right? Leaving our current routine and comfort zone so we can get to somewhere better. Not that saying it out loud makes it less terrifying, but it’s real. 

Scary, But Important

Success brings a lot of amazing opportunities into our lives. As you work toward your goals, you gain knowledge of what leads to success and how to do it again. More specifically, you learn about yourself and what you can do. As you make leaps and bounds past your goals, you learn what works and what doesn’t, what keeps you motivated, and what brings you to a screeching halt. 

With the inevitable trial and error it takes to succeed, you’re also gaining experience. Experience helps you to feel more confident in yourself and your skills, and showcase that to others. When you’re trying to find a job or, as a writer, find someone to support your writing, people want to know about your “experience.” We’ve all had that interview question that went something like this: Tell me about yourself and what experience you would bring to the role. With each new goal you reach and success you achieve, you’re building this much sought after experience. 

Experience and knowledge are great, but what’s most important isa actually growth and personal development. Every time you learn something new, develop a new skill, fine tune an old skill, make an error, correct yourself, or reach a goal, you grow as a person. You’re becoming a better version of yourself, which, really, is the ultimate success. 

Do the Thing that Scares You, Even When You’re Terrified (You Won’t Regret It)

If you stay in your comfort zone forever, you won’t succeed. At least not as much as you dream of because you don’t grow without fear. And if you’re not growing at least a little, you’re probably not succeeding in the way you want. 

When you can take even tiny steps outside of your comfort zone, you get experience. For writers, this might look like finding a trusted friend to read a little of your writing even though the thought makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up like you’re in a scary movie. It might not seem like a big deal, and once you send the writing, it might even seem like a small step. But every step forward is progress, no matter how small. It’s one step closer toward your goals, and success. 

If you don’t take these steps, you’ll never know how far you could've gone. Would you rather spend your one and only life stuck in your comfort zone wondering what could have been? Or take small steps that scare the living bejeezus out of you and actually find out? Give yourself the chance to find out how you can become a published author or the CEO of your dream business, or whatever dream you’ve been holding onto. 

4 Ways to Conquer Your Fear

We here at Capturing Your confidence (all of us) have been afraid, especially in our writing lives. We’ve been the ones who had to close our eyes before pressing send on an email with our beloved book attached on its way to get feedback. We’ve been the ones who were afraid people wouldn’t like our writing, so we kept our most exciting projects to ourselves. We’ve even been the ones who’ve contemplated throwing drafts away or redoing them because we felt like they just weren’t good enough. 

The only difference between us and anyone else (because ultimately we’re all humans) is that we didn’t let those fears hold us back. And you don’t have to either! We’re not promising that fear will go away - it won’t. But, we are promising that you can handle it. You can move forward anyway, and that’s what it’s all about.

Write down your worries & fears.

Writing down what’s weighing you down is a great start to understanding how to overcome your fears. Writing them down is helpful to pinpointing what’s causing the fears, why they’re happening, and how to deal with it. Sometimes they’re irrational, or sometimes they’re extremely real. Either way, you have to have a space to think about it in order to work through them.  

Talk to someone. 

Getting your fears out in the open and out of your own head helps as well. Sometimes we just need a listening ear and we can solve our problems mid-talk. Sometimes we need an objective outside opinion to remind us that we’re not crazy for being scared of these big goals and dreams. Often, the act of talking to someone we trust is soothing, and even if you don’t “solve” the fear, you can figure out ways to better manage it. 

Focus on your goals.

Let your motivation drive you, not your fear. Remind yourself regularly why you want this and focus on the goal. This alone can sometimes be enough to get through momentary fears that feel paralyzing. This is probably the most difficult, and most effective way to get through your fears.

This is HARD. It’s not something you’ll want to jump out of bed and do (at least not right away - it’ll get easier as you practice). But it’s okay. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay if you can only take the tiniest steps in the world. These tiny steps are still progress, and you can do this.  

Break down your goals.

Make your big goals and dreams more manageable. It’s hard as heck to publish a book or start a business! But you know what those things start with? Small steps like deciding on a main theme or idea. Deciding what you like and feel passionate about, and then putting your ass in the seat and writing it down. 100 words is more than none - it doesn’t even have to be a good 100 words.

A list of people doing what you dream of doing is one step closer to being your own boss because you can start learning what’s possible. Breaking down your goals makes them less daunting and wears down your fear of the unknown and newness. Anyone who’s worn patent leather shoes knows: those damn things are painful (but pretty) when you start, but they become more comfortable as you break them in! You can do the same with your fears and successes. 

Remind yourself of your goals & start taking control of your fears. 

If you need help, reach out. We’re here to help.

Have you ever been afraid of success? What fear is holding you back right now? What’s one way you overcome your fear of the unknown? We’d love to hear about your experiences! Find me on social media, drop a comment below.

Let’s chat because you, my friend, are on your way to great writing.