When you think about confidence, what comes to mind? In our new mini-series, we will dig into what makes confidence, what breaks confidence, and what we can do when we need confidence and it’s not there.

What is Confidence?

With any exploration, it makes sense to go straight to a reliable source, right? So to kick things off, confidence is defined as the “quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.”

Confidence has everything to do with how we feel about the actions we take (or could take) to be successful. When we are confident, we feel sure we can accomplish what we need to serve others and ourselves, as well as succeed in the future.

Confidence vs. Self-Efficacy

While confidence is the belief that you can be successful, there is a difference between believing you can do something and actually doing it. When we are confident, we take risks and accomplish tasks. We go through life with fewer doubts about what we are doing, and we believe we can succeed.

In my studies of confidence, extending back to grad school, one of the core concepts studied alongside confidence is the idea of self-efficacy. Scholar Albert Bandura is one of the most well-known self-efficacy researchers in the field, dating back to the 1990s, and he defines perceived self-efficacy as “People's beliefs about their capabilities to produce effects” (Bandura 1994).

The reason this is important is because even when we are confident, sometimes our self-efficacy is lacking.

The reason this is important is because even when we are confident, sometimes our self-efficacy is lacking. This means we are sure of what we can do, but we are not sure that it makes a difference.

For instance, in my writing & blogging, I know for a fact I can learn all the important aspects. I don’t question whether I can learn more about marketing or networking or writing for different audiences. I am completely confident; however, sometimes doubt comes creeping in (as it does to all of us) and makes me think things like:

Even if you learn all the things, it won’t matter. You’ll only reach a small group of people and you won’t be able to spread your positive message.

And

Your writing is good, but dang girl, you don’t know anything about online business! How can you boost anyone’s confidence if you can’t get to them?

For most bloggers and entrepreneurs, these thoughts (or something similar) have probably crossed your mind. This is low self-efficacy. It’s not about the belief in yourself as as a whole, but about whether you believe you can effect change or difference.

Take a moment and think about a time where you were very sure you could complete a task. Were you sure your ability to complete that task would make a difference in the outcome?

Where Does Confidence Come From?

No matter what kind of family life you have, where you grew up, or who you have become, there are a few factors that play heavily into your confidence. It starts when we’re children, but often grows and changes as we become adults. Everyone has a unique blend of surroundings, experiences, and personality that can help explain why our confidence is the way it is.

Support System/Network Who we grow up around as a child has a lot to do with how confident we are. This includes family, friends, teachers, and anyone else we learned from. Typically, when we have a wide network of supportive people who want to see us succeed and are willing to help, we have at least some confidence we can achieve our goals.

What happens when you don’t have a good support system, though?

Sometimes the lack of a supportive network causes people to be fiercely independent and confident despite the fact that they’re doing it all on their own. Sometimes it causes struggle that builds resistance to that low self-efficacy trap. If we’re on our own without help, we know what we’re doing is making a difference because we can see it.

We don’t have much say in our support system when we’re young, but as we grow older and become adults, we decide who to surround ourselves with.

We don’t have much say in our support system when we’re young, but as we grow older and become adults, we decide who to surround ourselves with. We expand our networks to coworkers and managers, and maybe we become friends with people from our past who played different roles before - for instance, becoming friends with old teachers.

Experiences The great and terrible thing about experience is that no one else has your unique blend of perception and lived reality. You have experienced events in a way that no one else could because you are you! This can be a real confidence booster if you have had a lot of positive experiences.

Maybe you were a great student and won a lot of awards during your school years, or you were a celebrated athlete and were awarded college scholarships. These experiences create more confidence and make you feel like you can do all the things.

On the other hand, negative experiences greatly affect you, too. They are certainly a deterrent from doing the same or similar things again, and can quickly make you lose confidence in yourself and your abilities.

The great and terrible thing about experience is that no one else has your unique blend of perception and lived reality.

For instance, when you tried your absolute best on a paper in school and were given a “C” but didn’t understand why. Or when you volunteered to babysit the class pet over the weekend and your parents were angry at you. These kinds of experiences breed doubt, make you lose confidence, and many times, make you lose self-efficacy.

Within Us We can’t talk about confidence without talking about how unique each of us is. Our personalities play a large role in our behavior, which is usually what influences our experiences. You’re the backbone of your life.

Some of us, especially those of us who are blessed with great support systems growing up, take more naturally to confidence. It makes sense that we would accept and live confidently when people have been telling us that we can do it from a young age. Our personalities grow into that belief and it becomes a part of us.

Some of us, though, face great odds to become confident. It’s much harder to be confident when our support system is always telling us we won’t succeed or taking actions that show they don’t care. When these people grow confidence, it’s because they have dug deep into themselves and worked hard to see their progress.

Maybe they want to prove others wrong, or maybe they just want to get out of where they are. Either way, they gain confidence by succeeding when no one else seems to believe in them. And when they get there, their confidence has become a solid foundation.

Who Needs Confidence?

The short version is that everyone needs confidence. This might seem dramatic, but the reality is that we use confidence in a number of ways every day. It can be critical to our success at all levels - as a child, teenager, adult, and experienced adult.

Here’s why:

We use it to bolster ourselves & others. We all have times where we feel deflated. Everything is going wrong and it feels like we’ll never get to where we want to be. When we have a healthy confidence, though, these times are short periods. They’re not decades of our life, they’re days, weeks, or months. When we believe in ourselves, we can reinflate and keep trying, even if it’s slower than we would like. We are more positive, and we take some risks that we might not without confidence.

When we are more positive and figure out ways to get through the tough times, we can also use these strategies to help others. Have you ever said to someone “I have complete confidence in you,” or had someone say that to you? It’s a pretty great feeling on both accounts (when you mean it)!

Sometimes we can tell ourselves enough to believe it, but sometimes we need others to step in and remind us that we can do it. When we have confidence, we can act as that other person both for ourselves and for others. It’s a win-win situation.

We use it to make decisions.

How often do you make big purchases where you’re not sure if it will work out? I don’t know about you, but I have to have a strong mindset before I’m laying down my money, especially the big bucks.

Believe it or not, confidence plays a large role in how we make our decisions. We make different decisions when we are confident than when we are lacking confidence.

For instance, starting a brand new business without having all the necessary skills, but being sure you can learn them in short order to create success is a bold and confident move. You probably wouldn’t make that decision if you weren’t feeling confident you could learn more and fast.

We also use confidence in our personal lives. We make confident decisions about our purchases, cooking, and relationship interactions. Often, we appear more confident among the people we are closest to because we trust them enough to show them our truest selves. We are also fairly sure they won’t scoff or joke about our big dreams like others might.

What’s Next?

We’ve talked about what confidence is, where we get it, and who needs it, so where do we go now? Tune in for the next part of our mini-series to read more about what makes up confidence!

What have your experiences been with confidence? I’d love to hear about them! Drop a comment below or send me an email at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com.

What is Confidence?: Exploring Confidence Series, Part 1