5 Reasons We All Need Gratitude (And Not Just Around the Holidays)

It is the end of November already and it feels like January was an impossibly long time ago. I think this same thought every year, and after I get past the shock that 2 months from now we will be starting a brand new year, I reflect. 

I begin with major events. 

What has happened that has changed my worldview? What has happened that has changed my life? 

There always seems to be big, life-changing events that have happened. Things like losing a loved one or becoming financially stable. I suspect that this is partially because my husband and I are still young, but it never ceases to amaze me where we started and where we have come every single year. 

Once I’ve framed the year with major events, I think about more moderate things that were really good, or sometimes, really bad. 

Why was the event so impactful? How did I revel in it? How did I overcome it? 

These aren’t necessarily life-changers, but they certainly affected our lives at the time. Maybe it’s a much needed-vacation or buying a car. There are typically more of these, and I like to go through my calendar and see what kinds of events occurred each month. 

Finally, I think about the small details. Fun dates and once in a lifetime events; small accomplishments like losing 5 pounds, and things that put a smile on my face. I love looking back at my digital journaling apps to see the day-to-day memories that don’t make it to my long term memory. 

What happened throughout the year that made me happy? Can I replay that memory, and will it make me smile again?

It’s only after I’ve thought about the year in these segments that I can begin to get a clear picture of how thankful I am for the life I lead. Of how much gratitude I have not only for my support network of family and friends, but for the people I work with, and the work I do. 

We tend to think about gratitude this time of year not just because the year is ending, but also because of Thanksgiving. Despite how it might seem in department stores, we are still in turkey season! Trying to gather our families together for a meal is both time-consuming, and stressful. That doesn’t include the shopping, if we indulge. Sometimes these things overshadow the part of the day where we give thanks.

Reflecting on our lives and remembering the good and the bad is really important, though. We need that acknowledgement to help us finish our year strong and move into the next with our heads held high. 

Reflecting on our lives and remembering the good and the bad is really important, though. We need that acknowledgement to help us finish our year strong and move into the next with our heads held high. 

Now, sometimes the year has sucked. I mean, it has been terrible at what seems like every turn. I get it! I’ve been there! Life is like one of those tower drop rides at the fair - sometimes we’re soaring up at the top, looking out over the world. The next minute, we’re plunging downward with that weird uncomfortable feeling we get in our stomach that seems like it will never go away. 

Some years we feel like we’re at the top, and some years it feels like we’re plunging down with no stop in sight. 

Even if it has been a downward plunge year, it’s still important to look for the things we are thankful for. Here’s why: 

We need a reality check. I don’t know about you, but I am sometimes guilty of complaining about minor inconveniences. 

Ugh, traffic took an extra 15 minutes today and I was late for work!

First, I drive the same way to work almost every day, so I know better than to leave even a few minutes later than normal. It’s not rocket science that leaving later might make me late. 

Second, sometimes there has been an accident. People have to be taken away in an ambulance or frantically make phone calls because not only are they late to work, but now their car is totaled, too. This is clearly much more of a problem, especially if there was injury! Every time I see an ambulance driving away, I say a little prayer that the person is okay. If I had left at the normal time, that could have been me. 

Finally, will that 15 minutes really be a big deal a year from now? Let alone 5 or 10 years from now? Chances are you won’t even remember in a few weeks.

We make these kinds of off handed complaints not even really thinking about it; however, the reality is that we typically have a lot more to be thankful for than we have to complain about.

Sure, we could dwell on the fact that we were 15 minutes late to work. 

OR 

We could focus on the fact that we have a job that allows us to pay the bills. We also have transportation that has allowed us to arrive safely, and will reliably take us home to our family/friends/pets/etc. at the end of the day. 

Who couldn’t benefit from a positivity boost? If you consume any type of news, you might think the world is a terrible place. There are wild things happening now that weren’t even a consideration 15 years ago. Many of those things we are still working to mitigate or resolve, so it can seem like chaos.

Because there’s so much digital connection all around us, it’s easy to get caught up not only in the constant barrage of news, but also in comparing our lives to others on social media. 

Oh look at so-and-so’s family! Aren’t they beautiful! Look at the vacation they just went on!

While it’s nice to be able to keep up with our friends and acquaintances, it’s not healthy to constantly compare our lives to others. We can’t see behind-the-scenes, and let me tell you, sometimes it’s ugly. 

Focusing so much on the negative takes a toll on us mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Focusing so much on the negative takes a toll on us mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you take time to reflect on the positives you are grateful for in your life, you will feel less stressed, less like you’re running in a hamster wheel, and more confident that what you’re doing is working - even if it’s just small ways. 

If you change your mindset, you can change your course. If you’re stuck dwelling on what’s not happening, or what you want to happen that isn’t coming quickly enough, it definitely won’t happen. 

When you spend all your time thinking things like: 

If I could just lose these last 10 pounds I would be happier.

If I could just make more money, all of my problems would go away.

You drain your energy. You leave yourself no room to take the steps you need to lose the weight you want, or get a better paying job. 

Refocusing on the things you are grateful for will allow you to regain some energy and motivation to take small steps again. If you’re stuck, or obsessing, you’re not going to be able to do what you need to do. 

The first time I heard this, I laughed. “If only that were true!” I believe were my exact words. But, I can tell you that when I succumbed - and I don’t use that lightly, it really felt like the bottom of the barrel - I almost immediately felt relief. I began working to learn techniques and read books to help me get to a better place.

Our mind is our most powerful asset, and when we can harness it positively and focus on what we are grateful for, our lives change. Whatever course we are on will go where it’s supposed to go. It’s not some sort of magical thinking, it’s just life. 

Life’s too short to take things (and people) for granted. Just the other day I was annoyed at my husband for something silly after a long day. Tension was high, but I kept my mouth shut because I knew it was a silly reason to be irritated. 

I took some time to be quietly by myself and figure out why I was really upset. It wasn’t him. In fact, he had just gotten me flowers and taken me on a beautiful date the day or two before. There was absolutely no reason for me to lash out, and I’m thankful I stopped myself - I didn’t used to be able to do that. 

The reality is that I’m very blessed to have a husband who loves me so much. Who is one of the most generous people I know and makes me laugh until I cry sometimes. 

It’s much better to live with gratitude than to wish you had been thankful when you could.

While it’s a learned behavior to not lash out at people when we are upset, it’s very important to be able to refocus on the best aspects of our lives. We don’t have very long here on Earth, and we never know when something might happen to cut that short. 

It’s much better to live with gratitude than to wish you had been thankful when you could.

It’s time to prepare to make change. We should focus on the positive things in our lives all the time, but the end of the year is special. We are still working on the current year, but we are excited (and sometimes thankful) for the new year in front of us. 

We can use the end of the year to reflect on the good and bad. If your year has felt like the tower drop ride, you might be thinking: 

Thank goodness - let’s get this year the heck out of here!

It’s perhaps even more important to do some planning if you’ve had this kind of year. 

The bad parts of the year were a bummer - possibly even the worst of your life. But now is the time to remember what lit you up again after that darkness. What set your passions on fire and made you ready to conquer the world? 

And, if it hasn’t yet, what would? 

Those are the thoughts you want to go into the next year with because that’s how you’re going to pull yourself back up and be okay again. If you need to linger in your sadness until the end of the year, give yourself that grace. But, when January hits, be prepared to put your positive pants on.

January is a great time to begin to form new habits, and maybe even try a thing or two that scares you! Develop those new habits and create a new normal. 

Gratitude isn’t just something you should do. It’s something you need to do. Being grateful is helpful in every aspect of our mental, emotional, and physical lives. When we are less stressed or emotionally overwrought, we sleep better, eat better, and even hurt less! 

The holiday season tends to make us think more about what we are thankful for, which is good. The ultimate goal should be, though, to count our blessings on a regular basis. It’s a hugely underrated strength to be able to be grateful, especially in the face of hardship. 

Gratitude isn’t just something you should do. It’s something you need to do.

Your blessings/positive moments/however you want to label them are out there waiting to be noticed and appreciated. You won’t regret finding them (even if you have to look hard). 

Do you focus on what you’re grateful for? Or has someone inspired you to turn to a more intentionally positive mindset? I’d love to hear about it!

Drop a comment below or email at rachel@capturingyourconfidence.com. Let’s talk!